The Eye of the Liger..

Welp...I just made the ballsiest move I am humanly capable of. Ok, that's a tall order, but still one of my most outlandish shenanigans to date. Dumb courage is part of my makeup I suppose. When I was four years old, I went to join my school's pee wee cheerleading squad that had already been chosen a month before. I simply told my parents to pick me up late from school, went to the team practice, and I pitched a screaming fit until they accepted me. I couldn't keep a beat to save my life. Same went for ballet, what a disaster I was..terrible. The class was less than a week away from a recital they had been practicing over two months for, when Deana "dumbass" Williams decided she deserved a spot on the stage. By God I got my way again, didn't catch a single step, and would NOT leave the stage once the performance had ended. My stage! Those examples would set the tone for my entire life, and once again...oh no she didn't.

It was one helluva ride cheering for the Atlanta Falcons, and even a wilder (yet bumpier) journey to actually make the squad. Took me five years to make it, and I got five years out of it. However, I didn't leave on my own terms..so in my head, I had unfinished business. No one is really sure what actually went down last April when my name wasn't called out for the 2009 team. Disclaimer, I am not a very strong dancer..so I made up for it by doing every single charity appearance I could get my hands on. In the years I was with the team, I did a total of almost 500 charity promos and won the "Community Service" award four times. I have jumped out of a cardboard box at a game, driven for free to Jasper GA and such to talk to kids about broccoli and push-ups on numerous occasions and even had a cake slammed in my face in the end zone...and loved every minute of it. So, when I was given the stock answer last year that "my dance scores simply were not "good enough" for the team this season..(after being "good enough" the previous four years) I smelled a fish (Shew!). To say I was pissed would be an understatement, a good way to describe it would be a boyfriend of five years dumping you out of nowhere and leaving you with a bullshit excuse. Some of the good-hearted gals on the team even said how they wished I would re-audition because it really may have been the truth.. that I just had a bad audition last year. I thought about it long and hard, and came to realize that no matter the outcome, I win. I either get a last season on the squad and a proper retirement, or I get answers. Sure, folks would think I was out of my mind..but anyone that actually knows me would get the bigger picture. My gut knew I had been cut before I even walked through that front door Sunday morning, but I did it. I needed to do it to know for a fact that the decision to get rid of me was not based on talent. This year was the perfect storm for me to do this experiment..the team added 8 new spots (in addition to the 10 non-returning member openings) and these 8 ladies would not even have to dance, they will be "Ambassadors" and do promos..so while you may be able to convince me that my kicks are not high enough and my double turn isn't solid enough for the field, there's zero chance you could convince me after winning appearance awards, that I wasn't "good enough" for an appearance team without it being blatantly obvious that there was more to the story. I mustered it all up and walked into prelims last week and knocked the b'Jesus out of that routine..it felt good, even though I knew it was all in vain. Even in my finalist interview with the directors (who I love and adore BTW), it was very obvious this`was going nowhere. Didn't matter, I knew what I was doing..I wanted answers. And on this past Thurs night, I got them. Of course I was cut, and while the new team looks great (honestly the most attractive group they've had in years), it was still very obvious that last years reason for firing me, carried over to this year. However, I couldn't be happier with my decision to go for it, I can now sleep at night knowing for a fact, that it wasn't that I wasn't "good enough," it was that someone had it out for me. And I realize every girl's situation is different, and I'm positive my "colorful" personality probably had something to do with it (I mean well, but I'm not perfect..and this mouth has been known to offend), but for ladies who have been on the team for several years and been cut and given a grey excuse..wondering if it's the truth and not having the capacity to make an ass out of themselves and challenge the system..crazy ass Nikky Williams went back, and was still cut. While I'll always wish someone would have had the respect to be honest with me, I know that's not always possible. And as wonky as it sounds, I am completely at peace with the whole situation, which is a relaxing change from the bitter and confused funk I had been in the past year. I like to lay it to rest now with- my big personality got me on the team, and that same personality got me kicked off. On an even brighter note- Good luck to the new squad, you all look amazing and are going to have the time of your lives..and my unsolicited advice is as follows: Do not try to do every single appearance to overcompensate for your shortcomings (when you are everywhere, you are around everyone, and the cardinal rule is that everyone will not like you...sorry sugar), and you ARE "good enough"..plain and simple. As for me, there's always next year! (jokes;)

"Courage, sacrifice, determination, commitment, toughness, heart, talent, guts. That's what little girls are made of; the hell with sugar and spice." - Unknown

**Photo credit shout out high-fives go to Tom Johnson (TJ-aka Falcons Cheerleader photoKING) and Jon Stennis (aka Stennis, Jon)**

Hold On Loosely, but don't let go

If you cling too tight babe, you're gonna loose control.




Gosh I've been gone for awhile, how are things? Anyways..you gotta love couples. And by love, I mean I don't like any of them (aside from my trust-tree friends, and even those few are not exempt from today's rant). What a selection process we all go through to find someone we adore, such a specific equation..it all has to come together and if and when it does..awesome. With that said, why on Earth..after all the dots connect, do significant others bow up at potential "intruders?" Why the jealousy? Most folks don't choose who they'd like to be with based on the concept, this will be mine and no one else will ever want it but me. And if you did go that route, good for you for being into fuglies. Is it not a huge compliment to have someone hit on your other half? I get it can be a little annoying, but why not have fun with it? Offer to get the two of them a drink, play it like you're his pesky sister..have fun with them, if that person is out hitting on folks they are obviously looking for a good time..give it to em. Personally, I get off on it. If he wants the girl hitting on him, he can have her..and onward. Guys, you are bad at this too. A man hits on your "woman" and then there's a fight..I'll admit, a tiny bit of animosity is cute-ish..but the barbaric, turkey leg, loin cloth shit is overrated, and makes you look like a moron. If you have a good-looking mate, chances are..people will hit on them (and it sure beats the alternative). I feel you now "Well I've been cheated on and it hurts.." blah blah haven't we all, but at the end of the day..why in the world would anyone want to be with someone who wants someone else? They did you a favor. Acting like a control freak is sure to keep anyone around..and loyal. I get also if you are an insecure-natured person, but isn't the ultimate form of security being with someone you know wants you too? Just a thought. In other news, my ex once kissed another girl in front of me (a 300lb bridesmaid) as a joke..I did NOT think it was funny. However, because I never showed jealousy towards other women, he thought I wouldn't think it was a big deal. So probably don't even listen to me. He did however, do me a huge favor.

"If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view,get an ugly girl to marry you."-Jimmy Soul

"Money for Nothin."

Bumper stickers. Yea, we did this thing at my elementary school where pretty much every kid at some point was "Student of the week" and you got a sweet bumper sticker for your parents to sport. When it was my week (approx 2 weeks left in 5th grade, saved the best for last I guess) I thought it was really rude that my folks didn't jump all over it..after all it was beautiful, had "My child is student of the week" in Times new Roman and didn't match any of their cars. Either way, people in general (not just dyslexic lisp-stricken bucked tooth kids named Nikky), like to be rewarded for things and display said major awards...even if you've done absolutely nothing to deserve it. Take this dip shit for instance (pictured)..you want to be rewarded for what every other female mammal has been doing for centuries? Congratulations. Then there's this whole "scoreless league" nonsense, where children play competitive sports and don't actually keep score, for fear of hurting any child's feelings. Parents are afraid of their children being crushed and humiliated, apparently instead they need to be patted on the back for not winning or losing..(don't pat too hard there mom, might break that weak spine that your poor kid will never develop). Let's be honest, the real fear is in the parents not winning, not the kids. Speaking of pats on the back, I really loved during Obama's campaign all the interviews with the "common folk," All too often, it went a little something like this "He's a good man, he takes care of his kids, never been to jail, loves his wife, goes to church, pays his bills, is a family man..." Am I on glue, or aren't you supposed to take care of your kids? You're NOT supposed to go to jail and when you're married of course you love your wife and how ridiculous are these Americans to give credit for such simple fundamentals? My guilty pleasure (besides hot sauce) is getting on facebook and surfing newsfeeds..I am constantly intrigued with the people that are all "Oh I'm cooking a rhubarb pie or hey I'm headed to the gym and yep helping kiddos with the homework.." These are everyday things everyone does that do not require the "Like" or "Comment" button. (Ok, that was a little harsh to all my mommy friends, I love you:). Let's don't even get groovin on pet owners and their displays of pride (I currently reside in a snow globe, one side is the family dog, the other is me) and the bumper stickers that say "My labradoodle is smarter than your honor student." You know who you are..and you've officially lost it.
When I was young it was all so simple, don't lie, cheat, steal, pee your pants or sing on the lunch tables. If I broke any of those rules, I had to pick my own switch. I never recall any "I didn't lie today" or "I didn't pick-pocket anyone" praises. No sir, the only award I was in it for was the "Student of the Week."


"At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It's part of who you are and doesn't need to be discussed anymore." -Sandra Bernhard

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side...

Hey there, hope your new year is treating you real fine. I'm sure everyone is rockin on their resolutions being that it's been a week, The treadmills are smoking, the smoking is stopping, the drinking is rampant and you ate less pie at dinner. I have the same resolution every year, to curse less and talk less. The two go hand in hand, but I never get anywhere with it..sorry to whatever higher matrix actually holds us to these unrealistic goals (my God knows better). I actually got an amazing compliment recently when a friend told me I inspired her new year's resolution. Naturally I said, "Yes! absolutely you should get hair extensions." However she had something else in mind..and up until that point I had no idea this was something I did. She said "I want to meet people that I would normally assume were freak shows, and actually get to know them." Ok, first off I don't know any "freak shows" but It makes sense in that I do associate with an eclectic mix of people, I don't draw barriers to my social interactions. I have met people from all walks of life, and some of these random conversations led to years of staying in touch. Perhaps I'm a collector of people, (not "I'm making a jumpsuit of your skin" type as much as "I want to know what makes you tick"). Some of my charms actually get second and third looks..a man once followed me to the restroom and asked If I wanted him to help me get away from that "creepy guy," to which I responded "That 'creepy' guy is actually my dear friend and with all do respect, I think following women to the restroom is far more creepy, thanks." It's impossible to not judge people, but it's easy to remain objective. I think in order to be well-rounded and centered, you need to know people...and it takes all kinds. How do you know what you like if you don't check it all out? While I do know people who are filthy rich, I know that I so much more enjoy broke folks...when you don't have money as a solution to everything, you're forced to be creative. I have a slew of vanilla "I will tell you what you want to hear and only that" friends, but I much more respect the ones that aren't afraid to piss me off (WARNING: BAD idea unless it's warranted...and even then, can be very dangerous. I suggest also being great at making people laugh, or you'll likely be killed (I think that's an Oscar Wilde quote-ish?). I had an acquaintance once tell me (in reference to a confrontation I had) "If you don't get your hands dirty, then you will never have to deal with repercussions." This was the mantra for his life, passive aggressive and always pleading the fifth, a politician if you will. A lovely boy with no enemies and I couldn't disagree more. There are people out there that totally despise me for my "I'll go in for the kill if I think it's the right thing to do" persona..however it's these same people that wish they had me around when they were too spineless to defend themselves. It's not that I enjoy war, I just appreciate those that stick their neck out, even if it makes them look foolish. One of my favorite quotes is "If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human achievement." -Jimmy Carter. But seriously what is everyone so afraid of? Experiment. Go places you wouldn't normally go, get to know people who make you uncomfortable..challenge yourself to figure out why that is, meet your local bartender, get in healthy banter with someone over something you're passionate about, force yourself to hold the opposite opinion or see the world through your enemy's eyes, listen to the people around you..pay attention to even the most banal encounters, call the Al Sharpton show twice a week (Ok, maybe don't do that, then I will be jealous if you get on..that bastard constantly shews me away), and Yes! absolutely you should get hair extensions. In closing, I'll address a question I got over the holidays (from a person I met at "Mullet Toss" a few years back ((where most go to meet lifelong friends)), which was "You are so random and I can't figure out why people like you?!" the answer to that is one of three things, 1-They don't 2-They don't but I have really attractive friends and 3-Maybe I am that person that someone went out on a limb to get to know..maybe I piss them off or make them uncomfortable..and having me around enables them to say "I hang with an eclectic mix of people, have you met my zany, ridiculous and unconventional friend, Nikky?"

"I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects." -Oscar Wilde