I am colorful because I come from color.

Politely put. We've all got them in our families...you know, the ones that you would worry if you ever married someone decent, may run for the hills if they met? In my case though, it's really my ENTIRE lineage. However, by some miracle, my parents are fantastic...like a typical girl, dad is my hero..which is nice, kept me solid (by "solid" I mean "not slutty"), and mom is just the strongest woman I know, if that's not a damn dream in itself..I also have great step parents...yep, GREAT. But then theres my great aunt, "Millie" who was made to live at home and take care of her father until he died, she was 68 when the old bastard finally kicked the bucket (he was an ass), turning great aunt Millie loose in the social scene at 68 and a VIRGIN..yes, a virgin. Now she is pushing 94 and GETTING IT at her retirement community...the Jewish towers in Atl, (not only is she not Jewish, no one in our family is...so this begs the question, "Who did she sleep with?.") When I was 13, she gave me a pair of thongs with jingle bells on them, and told me to "Get with the times and not wait as long as she did." At the last family function, aunt Millie went on to tell a story about a guy in her building she was sleeping with, apparently he was also sleeping with another 90-ish damsel across the hall who claimed to be constipated in an attempt to cut aunt Millie and her beau's date short...but aunt Millie was no fool...she put on her sexiest lingerie and "seduced" him into not going to the store, and aunt Millie said (in her southern accent that borederline needs subtitles) "Honey, I tell you what, that old scallywag is still sittin over there stopped up." Sassifaction...are blogs supposed to be this long? That's just one relative...oh Lord, this was a bad idea.